Updates and Distracting Myself....

Right off the bat: Sorry not sorry.
Alright bear with me because I'm trying to distract myself, and this post revolves around the reason.
But first few updates on this apartment life oh mine to answer questions I've received:
1) So Linda turned out to be not as normal as the initial encounter, a fact that my land lord let me know after her room stayed empty for a few weeks after her supposed move-in day so it's still just Alfred, Mothball, and I....and usually Hilda.
2)Mothball is getting her lady parts taken are of and there is relief abounding through the apartment.
3) Mothball's belongings had vanished from the bathroom the next morning! Halleeeelujah I was quite relieved.  Casual conversation with Alfred revealed that Surprise! she was driving him nut with the constant meowing so she was banished from his room.

Fun fact: After I work out, I try to guzleguzzleguzzle water throughout the day in order to stay hydrated.  And it helps me not to want to eat all foods within reach.
  So this lovely, rainy evening I am standing in my kitchen in front of my laptop-I rarely sit....ever..- and scrolling through pinterest halloween food ideas  articles for an assignment whilst Alfred's music blares from the bathroom as he stars the shower. Important fact in this story.
So I'm typing, scrolling, typing scrolling when all of a sudden WHOOOOOOOSH, the copious amount of water I have drank throughout the day hits my bladder and I have to pee like Sea Biscuit....except there is only one bathroom and I am not a guy so the great outdoors is not an option.

Now Alfred is one of the few guys I know that will take lonnnnng showers, a fact my bladder and I are acutely aware of. Ohmanohmanohman ohhhhgoodygoodygumdrops...ohhhhkayyyy focus.  Read article....all I can hear is the shower running....curses! Alright ummm....newspaper ad! Hmm yesssss what IS on sale this week? Anything used to make delicious Halloween treats?? *Concentrating fiercely on connecting what to make with what is on sale whilstignoringthesoundofrunningwater*  Ad is finished...Oh man...AHA! BLOG!  And so here I sit. Like I said, sitting is something I rarely do so this is how you know it's a crisis.  If you see me sitting, immediately assume something drastic is happening or shall soon occur.  Lalala, just perusing gifs and expounding on my glorious li- THE BATHROOM DOOR HAS OPENED BYEEEEEEEEE!!! *Sprints/hobbles as fast as possible*


Sources:
Sheldon is the Master
Amy's Life
Captain Jack

Rantity Rant Rant

jkadhasjdhaihdslk! I am fuming.  And just to get the explanation for the over abundance of gifs:  I love these characters. and they are kind of  expressing my exact emotions.  I will not apologize.
But why so angry? You might ask. Excellent question! Please, bear with me while I enlighten you.
By now we know I am living with a cat.  Now I know your probably already thinking, "Oh no, not another cat rant," and trust me I wish it wan't.  But it is! So bear with me....or close the window.  You have the power!

Anyways.  I am living with cat. Cat is not mine.  I, over the past few weeks have grown to detest this cat.  Thankfully, she usually is locked in Alfred's room, especially when he is not home.  SO I come home this evening and see the cat at the top of the stairs, which is quite strange but he's forgotten her outside his room before so whatever.  I shuffle to the bathroom and discover there have new installments, such as a cat tree. And cat food. 
And a litter box that does not have a lid and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been cleaned in at least A WEEK.  I now notice the smell that is starting to permeate the apartment.  It is sickening and makes me feel disgusting.
I am mad. Beyond mad.  And cat, Mothball, is deciding to see how far she can push my " hate you," button, by rubbing against my legs every second I stop moving. Squirtsquirtsquirt.  Also, now since I have locked her in the bathroom, as I do not want her spraying everywhere, she is meowing, and scratching, nonstop.  NONONONONOARRRGGHHHHH
 OhmywordIcouldkickyou.  ^^ looks of loathing equivalent to that felt towards cat^^

It would have been  different if I would have been asked, or even have it mentioned to me in passing.  I understand that yes he lives here,but so do I.  We share the bathroom.  We do not share his bedroom.  Therefore, what is his, i.e. Mothball, should kept with his things.  This can't go on though.  I don't want to take a shower in a bathroom that already reeks.  I don't want to eat and cook in a house that stinks of cat feces.

I hate confrontation but I just might despise this situation/cat a wee more.  I don't want to get the landlod involved if I don't have too but I guess we will see what happens.....  Communication and respect go along way when living with someone else.  Just saying.
Whew.  If you made it to the end of this, congrats!! Here is your reward:  Peter Hollens in all his accapella amazingness!

avengers
damon
olanrogers
supernatural

The experiment

Sorrysorrysorry it's been forever!  I've been swamped with class and homework.  I finished my 10+page paper after 5 straight hours of staring at my laptop screen and my eyeballs felt like falling straight to my keyboard rather than staring at this infernal thing any longer.  Plus I was still missing an interview I needed for this confounded report.  One hadn't gotten back to me  and the other contact couldn't get it done until this weekend ....a tidbit I found this a.m. while I was trying to pound out a coherent paper.  I spent five minutes in giddy, hysterical I'mgonnahaveameltdown state when the most beautiful miracle happened and I squealed for joy and breathed the biggest side of relief as I grinned a room-brightening grin: The first of my contacts emailed me all the answers to my questions. I was absolutely delirious with relief., brief as it was as I still had to incorporate her answers and make up, er research, some other details..

Also part of the reason it's been forever was that I was conducting an experiment.  You see, we have been running EXTREMELY low on toilet paper lately.  Now I have a stash in my room.  I filled up the t.p. holder thing we have, and supplied a few rolls after that.  Maybe I'm a horrible person....But there would be days where our porcelain office was devoid of white plushiness.  My experiment was to see if Alfred would take it upon himself to go buy more.  One particular day when the TP was non existent during the longest stretch so far, being about 3 days that I had not supplied a roll from the stash,  I noticed there was a new kleenex box placed on the back of le toilet. Hm. interesting.  

Probably a good thing the land lord is unaware of this potential clogging hazard.  Keep  in mind this experiment goes on for a weekish, probably more.  Well I'm headed outta town for the weekend so I shall leave Alfred and Hilda, le girlfriend, and the kleenex to their duties for the next 4 days!
Monday I come back and much to my shock, the bathroom stand is overflowing with roll on rolls on rolls of white, woven, beautiful toilet paper. AND there is a new stash of paper towel, which we were also devoid of. AND more dish soap, which we had, but oh well.  I was beyond impressed.  I might even do some of his dishes. Ha. Ha. Ha. Just kidding: the garbage is stinking up the apartment and basically overflowing. again.

Also, guess who is in heat...for the third time in 2 WEEKS....

meme 1, meme 2, meme 3

Power Trip

Things you can do when you and I are mutual friends:  Touch me; talk to me, about pointless as well as serious things.  If we are not friends, you are not allowed to do these things and I become angry.  For some reason Mothball seems to think we are friends.  False.  We were friendly acquaintances....then heat happened.
She was supposed to get declawed and fixed Friday,but for some straaaange reason, it didn't happen.  And Mothball is in heat, AGAIN.  This is TWICE in a WEEK AND A HALF.  Which means another week of touchyfeelylovemewhileImeownonstopforhoursonend.  I can't. I just can't. 
k.

Today I am trying to read and take notes, you know, college-y things while when Mothball slinks in. ugh.  Alright alright focus...She is brushing against my legs. I repress a shudder. When you can't stand a certain thing, any contact becomes cringe-worthy. 
Breeeeeeeeeaaaatheee.....Reeeaaadddd....Nooooottesss
Throughout my study session, Mothball decides that my legs are just not enough but that she must be RIGHT next to me, in my face, and of course, touching me. Nonono. after throwing her off the ocunter several times, I barricade the edge with various available objects: Coffeemaker, toaster, k-cup boxes, cleaning spray coffee bags etc.  She decides to climb upon the garbage, jump on the counter and Nuzzle The Great Wall of Anti-Mothball. ahhhh. put random objects on garbage can. She proceeds to knock them down. This is not a very productive homework session.  Move garbage away from counter.  SHE MANAGES TO LEAP OVER THE WALL.  I am .000000012390123809 a nerve away from opening the window and allowing her the opportunity to explore the rooftop view.....forever.

All of a sudden, my being has brilliant idea.  I enthusiastically whip open the cupboard under the sink where there is a nearly empty spray bottle. Rinserinserinse, test nozzle- squirtsquirtsquirt- and cue the evil laugh and gleam in the eye.
Casually, I return to my studies, but with a (eager) peripheral eye on Mothball....and I wait...BINGO! She pounces, and I do to.  I give a warning, "Mothball, get down..."Then I attack.  Squirtsquirtsquirt! Bullseye! Full misting power in le face.  It is beautifully, immediately effective.  Evil laughter and excitment race through my veins.  I holster my weapon.  She jumps on the table. AHA! squiirtsquirtsquirt! I am on a roll.  I am mad and power hungry.  Life has just brightened.  Their are so many possibilities! 


BONUS STORY:  ALFRED CLEANED THE APARTMENT!! Kitchen anyway But he CLEANED. I was so impressed. My heart was leaping.  You see earlier that day I had asked him to clean the bathroom.
I don't like to be told when to clean.  That's why I moved out of my parents.  I'll clean on my own time."
Not said meanly or snottily, just said.
"And I get that!  That's fine.  It just needs to get done or it gets gross."
"Right, yeah"
So I'm just wondering if we could do a week by week alternation...?"
No response. I left fuming.
But then I came home and he's vacuuming and cleaning the stove, garbage, EVERYTHING!  The bathroom wasn't done, but hey This is progress compared to a month ago....


Barney
Dr. Who
fresh prince
grumpy cat