Wake up!

I'm still alive! Just reassuring-or disappointing?- anyone who had a twinge of doubt.

Anyone here THAT person? You know, the one whose alarm goes of at 6:03buttcrackofdawn a.m. and the eyeballs instantly pop open out of sheer pure excitement at this beautiful, glorious day, and instantly spring from the confines of your blankety prison that was holding you back?


Orrrrr are you like me, with less than 8 hours of sleep where your snooze button is that sneaky voice of a frenemy who tells you that one more time wouldn't hurt.  Curse you frenemy.




So my friends, I have compiled a list of tried and true techniques that I, yours truly, have experienced, unintentionally solely for your benefit and entertainment.  You are welcome

1.) Drink at least 16oz. of water approximately four hours before you have to wake up.  Your bladder becomes bff's with your alarm clock as they both have the shared ambition of getting you out of bed.

2.) Have a roommate who cooks for his girlfriend at 5am and the tantalizing smells of bacon arouse you from your slumber, only to drop you into a pit of sadness when your consciousness realizes it's not for you....and you will encounter a kitchen in shambles and manymanymany dirty dishes.



3.) Said roommate could also have a cat who will relentlessly go into heat (this is now the 4th time in 3 weeks....) and find it of utmost importance to scratch and mew at your door because you two ARE OBVIOUSLY BFFS FOR LIFE.

4.)  Fall out of your bed, but in such a fashion that you AND the bed flailing to the floor....
....Yes this happened. You see, I have a twin box spring and mattress in my humble little closet with windows.  However, said bed is extraordinarily uncomfortable.  So, I tried to remedy the situation by placing my other mattress, the one I slept on for the first month of my adventure, on top said rock of a bed.  Now this second mattress is the complete and utter opposite composition the box spring and mattress.  It is suuuuupppper squishy, so much to the point that if you sit or lean on one spot, that crater or dent will disrupt your sleep for the next two days.  This mattress also does not like sitting still on top the other two so it's a bit like sleeping on a squishy, uneven, sled.
  Last week whilst reaching for my alarm, the momentum of my arm swing down to alongside my bed, both my bed and I were sent sailing and sliding and flailing to the floor. I'm pretty sure Alfred was concerned why there hysterical laughter coming from my room at 6:30 a.m.
 This is beyond a doubt the most effective and entertaining way to wake up.
I highly recommend it.


Anna
Dumbledore
bed
unfair!